All of us are a mixture of astrological conditioning, and I have found that when a parent or a spouse finds out that their family member acts the way they do, not to be difficult, but because of their astrological influences, a certain peace descends. They no longer take the difficult aspects of the relationship personally, and can then endeavor to understand the other person’s reasons for why they think and act the way they do. It doesn’t mean they have to agree with, or even understand the reasons their spouse, parent or child acts a certain way. Now they don’t expect anything other than what is indicated in the astrological chart, the pain of being let down or disappointed can be released.
Countless times I have done relationship or family compatibility sessions, and described the various personalities of the people involved. Almost always, the clients leave the session with a new found understanding that their mate or family member is acting according to their astrological karma, and not out of any need to be difficult or annoying! As I’ve learned through this work, healthy and supportive family interactions are less about sharing the exact same values or ideals, and more about letting go of false expectations.
It can take strain off of the relationship to know that your spouse, who is an Aries ascendant, will almost always impulsively act first and think later, while you cannot fathom why he would be that way, because you are a calm diplomatic Venusian Libra. He is not doing it just to aggravate you. He’s doing it because that’s the fundamental nature of his personality. Or maybe your brother is a Sagittarius with a strong Mars and Saturn conjunction. He will probably be more head strong or even fundamental about his religious views (and try to convert you to the way he believes). Now that you know this is his primary astrological conditioning, you don’t need to pretend he will ever be otherwise. You can choose to accept it (or not) and give more attention to the positive aspects of your relationship compatibility.
This is not to indicate that everyone is predetermined to act a certain way. Yet to be honest, 95% of people in the world are acting on autopilot. In any given situation, they will probably choose and react the same way on a consistent basis. If you are blessed to be one of the few working to release attachment to karmic influences, or be surrounded by family and friends who are doing likewise, then we don’t need to give more attention to the astrological influences than are due.
Overall what matters most to live harmoniously with others and to have fulfilling family relationships is to accurately and objectively assess the behaviors of others, and to realize they are the way they are for reasons beyond your control. The only thing you can do, is either choose to be a part of their life, or not. In the case of immediate family, it may require that we view our relative’s actions and ideals from a detached perspective, letting them be what they are, loving them unconditionally, even if from a distance.
For parents and children you can learn about their astrological influences and find out the best methods of communication and interaction. If your mother is a Cancer ascendant, you will probably have to appeal to her feeling and sympathetic nature to get her to understand a certain perspective. It doesn’t matter if you are a practical, facts based Capricorn, to communicate with a Cancer ascendant, emotions are key. The more we understand and respect our differences, the better we will be able to communicate and have positive relationships free of pain causing false expectations, that are the bane of healthy happy relationships.
Ryan is a full-time Vedic Astrologer in Asheville, NC. He is the Co-Author of “The Art and Science of Vedic Astrology”, available on Amazon. For more information please see: www.AshevilleVedicAstrology.com.